i can't breathe
by Serving Looks and Trash
Summary: rejection hurts. rated T for language and panic attack
1. rejected

i can't breathe

She was not okay. Nothing was okay. _They weren't okay._ Marinette pulled the pillow closer to her chest as she cried, loud sobs echoing in the empty bedroom.

Her mind was on overdrive. Every scenario that she thought could happened hadn't. The one thing she rarely thought about did, though.

"Wow. Um, I—I'm sorry Mari, I really am, but I—I like someone else. I'm sorry. Please, can we stay friends?"

Marinette had been prepared to hear Adrien proclaim his undying love for her. She had been prepared to live happily ever after, have three kids and a hamster. Have that little house in the city and design fashion while Adrien taught physics. She had even planned the colors of their wedding and had designed an entire collection for every member of the bridal party.

Those things, she was prepared for.

Marinette hadn't prepared herself for the feel of rejection. It washed over her like a bucket of cold water, leaving her shivering and sending a chill through her heart.

She didn't know how she found the courage to speak, but soon found an apology tumbling from her lips, willing herself not to cry as she bid him good-bye. Marinette watched him turn away from her as he entered his car and sped away from the curb, leaving the girl and her broken heart on the sidewalk.

Then she ran. Away from the school, away from Alya's questions and the humiliation of being turned down. Away from Chloe's laughter in the background, from Nino's confused gaze as he watched her go. Away from the sidewalk that housed her bleeding and bruised heart.

Her lungs burned fiercely; salty tears blurred her vision as her feet pounded the cobblestone street, her breaths becoming short pants as her destination came into view.

She'd taken down the posters the minute she had arrived home, cramming them into one of her desk drawers. The drop-down schedule had been ripped from the ceiling and stuffed into a pink garbage can. Her black jacket and schoolbag lay strewn about where Marinette had discarded them once inside the room.

Her chest ached. Guilt and hurt churned inside her heart wildly, knocking the wind out of her lungs as she gasped for air. She grasped the pillow tighter to her chest, shuddering as she sobbed openly.

Bluebell eyes opened wide with panic as she tried to inhale, then found she couldn't. Tears kept falling, burning hot against pale skin. Marinette was drowning, suffocating without the oxygen that she craved so desperately.

 _I can't breathe. I can't breathe._

It all became too much for her to bear, and she shut down, allowing herself to slip off into the darkness that welcomed her with open arms.


	2. late nights

chapter II—late nights

She was late to patrol that night. After Tikki had finally shaken her awake and she cleaned herself up, Marinette was already a half hour behind to meet with Chat Noir.

Ladybug stumbled across the rooftops, racing carelessly toward the building where Chat waited dutifully for her. She crashed onto the terrace, nearly hitting a duct as she slid across, landing at her partner's feet. He blinked down at her, surprised.

"You alright Bug?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and giving her his signature smirk.

"Yeah," She whispered weakly, fighting back tears that threatened to fall. "I just had a bad day."

The smug look on his face quickly changed to one of concern, and worry flooded his green eyes. The tears that had been looming finally broke the dam and fell down the heroine's face.

Before either could register what was happening, Chat Noir reached down and lifted Ladybug off the ground, holding her against him. He carried her closer to the edge of the roof, and gently set her down before sitting beside her. Neither spoke for a while, Chat just letting Ladybug cry into his shoulder while he hugged her tightly.

Finally, he broke the overbearing silence. "Do you want to talk about what happened? I know you can't really say much-" he added, gesturing to her- "but maybe just talking about it will make you feel better," Chat finished gently.

"I told my crush I liked him," she whispered, turning to look out over the city, face shiny with tears. "But he rejected me for somebody else, somebody better."

Chat felt a pang of regret shoot through him as the girl next to him spoke. He hoped Marinette hadn't been this broken over him rejecting her, making a mental note to check up on her after patrol.

"Anyway," Ladybug continued, wiping her nose with her sleeve, "I'm not mad at him. I can't be, you know? It just-" she paused, bringing her knees up to her chest and looking down before continuing. "It just sucks because I thought I had a chance.

"I thought he was the love of my life. It sounds so, so stupid, but I—I loved him Chat. I _still_ love him. I just wish he loved me." The small girl's body wracked with sobs, shuddering violently when she finished speaking.

The words hit Adrien like a freight train. He stared at her, open-mouthed, as he tried to come up with something to say back. Finally, he found his voice.

"I'm sorry."

She turned to face him, confused. "What? Chat Noir, you have nothing, and I mean _nothing_ , to apologize to me for. You aren't him; you didn't hurt me. You don't even know who-" he interrupted her with a wave of his hand.

"I may as well be him, my lady. One of my best friends confessed she loved me today. I told her that I-" he broke off, swallowing before continuing. "I was in love, with someone else. I never got to make sure she was okay or anything because I had to leave.

"The thing is, I don't know how to make sure she's okay other than as Chat Noir. I don't think she really wants to see my civilian self at the moment, of course I don't blame her for that," he muttered dejectedly, laying down on the rooftop.

"I just want to be there for her, but I can't," he finished, eyes tearing up as he looked up at the night sky.

A moment later Ladybug joined him on the ground. Silence fell over the duo for a long time as they lay there, looking up at the stars. Neither made a move to abandon the other, wanting to console and heal their wounded hearts.

"Chat Noir?"

"Hmm?"

"You're a good person, you know that?"

"Am I?"

"Of course," she murmured softly. "Minou, you are one of the best people I've ever met in my life. I don't know what I'd do without you by my side."

Chat fell silent at that. How could she sit there and tell him that, when he had hurt Marinette so badly earlier? He made her _cry_.

They laid quietly on the rooftop together a while longer. Occasionally one would look at the other only to realize they were crying again; then move to hold them close until the tears ceased, and their breathing became normal again.

All too soon it was time to go home and get some rest, the Miraculous' beep signaling the beginning of the five-minute countdown. As the pair shared a hug and went their separate ways, both found themselves feeling a little better than when they'd arrived.


	3. a visitor

III — a visitor

He found Marinette on her balcony staring at the night sky, dried mascara and eyeliner streaks on her cheeks. A blanket wrapped around her shoulders kept the girl from freezing in the autumn wind, and a mug warmed her small hands.

Chat could see her from his perch on a nearby roof. He had no idea what he would even say to her. How could he possibly explain knowing that she'd been rejected that day by Adrien, when he was Chat Noir and supposedly didn't even know of Adrien's existence?

Before he could even figure out one sentence that wouldn't reveal his secret identity, Marinette looked up and locked her gaze with his. A moment later, she called out to him.

"I know you're there, Chat Noir. There's no use spying on me if I've outed you."

"Why princess I wasn't spying, just merely passing through and noticed you standing there on your balcony," he replied back, smiling.

"Chat, you've been here for ten minutes. You aren't exactly stealthy," she pointed out, giggling quietly.

"I must admit —" he vaulted over, landing on the railing next to her, "—that I do take offense to that, being a cat and all," he continued, smirking at her.

At that moment, he finally turned and looked at her. Instantly, Chat's smile faded from his lips.

Marinette looked awful. Dark bags circled underneath her eyes, which were swollen and puffy. The normal brightness that lit up her blue eyes was gone, leaving them dull. Add the makeup smeared every which way, her fake smile, and the way her laugh seemed incredibly forced, it was evident Marinette wasn't having a good night.

"Are you—have you been crying?"

Chat watched as she took a small sip of her drink before she answered him.

"Possibly."

She wouldn't look at him. Pulling the pink blanket tighter around herself, she shivered lightly in the cool Parisian air.

"Marinette," Chat spoke softly. "What happened that has you this upset? Did you fail a class or something?"

"Promise you won't laugh at me?"

"Purr-omise, princess."

She scoffed. "Keep doing that, and I won't tell you at all."

"Sorry. That just comes with the job," he winked. When she didn't return his smile, he frowned. "Okay, seriously Marinette. What happened?"

"I told a boy who is way out of my league that I love him, and now I'm here. You can imagine the rest."

She went silent after that, running a hand through her disheveled black hair.

"What makes it so much worse is that he didn't have a single clue about my feelings. I thought it was painfully obvious, but I guess he didn't catch the signs," she paused, taking a sip of cocoa.

"He sounds like a complete asshole." The words left Adrien's mouth before he realized what he was saying.

Marinette turned and shot him an icy glare.

"Chat Noir, he may not reciprocate my feelings, but that doesn't mean he's an asshole. Adrien—" she paused, blinking back tears that threatened to fall again— "Adrien is the nicest guy I've ever met. He's selfless, and kind, and would give you the shirt off of his back if it could make you happy.

"He's such a good person, even though his father is cold and harsh to him. His mother is gone. That boy could be the absolute worse person, but he chose to be good and kind and gentle," she went on, peering into her cup.

"It's why I fell in love with him in the first place. He's a wonderful person. In fact—" she turned and locked eyes with Chat, blue mixing with green— "he reminds me of you the most," she finished softly, gazing at him. A tear broke free and ran down her cheek, and she hastily wiped it away.

 _Wow._ Adrien's heart stopped. Then soared as it began beating fast and hard against his chest.

He wanted to tell her so many things: how sorry he was, how he didn't mean to hurt her, that he was beginning to realize his own feelings for her. But he couldn't, not as Chat Noir. That conversation would have to be between Adrien and Marinette, not Chat and Marinette. It didn't matter how much he wanted to kiss her senseless—okay, where did _that_ thought come from?

Right at that moment a stray pigeon chose to take flight, bringing Adrien back to focus. Marinette wasn't looking at him anymore; actually, she wasn't really looking anywhere. Sure, she was fixated on the city lights in the distance, but he could see an emptiness behind her stare.

"Mar?" His gentle hand on her shoulder made her jump.

"Agh! Sorry, I kinda spaced there for a minute," she apologized.

He chuckled lightly. "That's okay, Princess. It's hard not to be starstruck when you're in a hero's presence." She rolled her eyes at him and yawned quietly.

"It's getting late, Marinette."

"Mmhm," she nodded sleepily, clutching the blanket even tighter around her small frame.

"Mar, you're freezing. Go inside and go to bed. You've got school in the morning anyway, and we both know your punctuality isn't the best," Chat pointed out, raising a brow at her under the mask.

"Fine." Sighing, she picked up the now empty mug and trudged over to her trapdoor, exhausted. Just before she went inside, she waved goodbye to Chat Noir as he prepared to leave.

"Goodnight, Marinette. I hope you feel better soon."

And then he was gone into the night, leaping across the rooftops of Paris with his baton. Marinette watched him go, a tiny smile playing at the corners of her lips. A hand drifted up to her earrings as she looked at the spot where the boy had stood only moments before.

"Yeah. Goodnight, Adrien."


End file.
